Bored Paris Hilton

Yes, it has come to this: Paris Hilton's boredom is news. Previously, the minimum level of Hilton activity meriting media coverage has been a fart, but with this story about how the Vienna Ball understimulated the heiress so thoroughly that she couldn't be bothered to squeeze out even the most grudging of flatus in exchange for her generous appearance fee, the old standard has all but been erased, and a whole new avenue of coverage involving the occasions when her trademark privileged, dead-eyed stare seems incrementally more glazed over has opened up. It shouldn't take more than a week before InTouch moves boldly into the boredom space by featuring a photo spread of an ennui-stricken Hilton blankly staring at her Sidekick, waiting for the arrival of a text message from Nicole Richie that may never come.

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